


Please Forget Me

by devylin



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist: Conqueror of Shamballa
Genre: Angst, M/M, Unrequited, conqueror of shamballa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-29
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-17 19:23:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4678412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devylin/pseuds/devylin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is nothing that means more to Alfons Heiderich than his roommate and rocketry. With his progressing illness, however, he knows that he's about to lose what time he has left with both. Instead of leaving Ed to stay in this dream world alone when he's gone, Alfons sets a plan in motion to send his roommate home to wake up. It's fine to forget about a dream, isn't it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please Forget Me

Red-tinted water swirled around the bottom of the sink, and Alfons cupped his hands under the running water to gather enough to rinse his mouth once more. Even after the forth rinse, however, he was sure he could still taste some last bit of iron that had somehow eluded the water. How am I going to tell Edward? Alfons had been trying to keep the extent of his illness hidden from his roommate as best he could for the two years they’d been together, but he wasn’t sure how much longer he could actually pretend anymore. 

He sat back on the side of tub and sighed, resting his head in his hands. Whatever it was that had been affecting his lungs was obviously progressing more quickly than he’d thought, and if he was already starting to cough up blood, his prospects of a long, prosperous life as one of Germany’s admired rocket engineers were dwindling quickly. What he didn’t know, though, was just how long he had left, how he was going to break the news to his roommate, and if anyone outside of his coworkers and Ed would even remember him if he were to disappear. And even then, what if what memories they had of him wouldn’t linger?

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud knock at the door. “Hey, Alfons? You alright?” came a concerned, heavily accented voice. Edward. Alfons’s head shot up, and he pulled out his watch, eyes widening at the realization of just how long he’d been sitting there. No wonder Ed would be worried. 

“I-I’m fine. Just zoned out a little shaving.” Alfons gave a nervous laugh and unlocked the door, opening it to finally see his roommate’s worried, golden eyes, eyes that he’d admired for so long but could barely bring himself to look at now. “Sorry about that. I guess I got to thinking about how close the rocket is to completion and started daydreaming again. Good thing you’d snapped me out of it or I’d have been late for work.” Alfons brushed past Ed to return to their bedroom.

Ed frowned as he watched the younger boy walk away. Something seemed wrong, but he couldn’t quite place it. Alfons had always been quiet about most thoughts and feelings that were unrelated to rocketry, however, so Ed could only assume that whatever it was really wasn’t his business, and it seemed too personal to ask. Even though he’d been here for two years, he was still determined to return home to the real Al and couldn’t afford to have any lasting connections in this world. 

He shook his head and stepped into the bathroom to brush his teeth, raising an eyebrow at the sight of Alfons’ dry razor sitting by the sink in the same spot he’d seen it yesterday.

***

Even after a few weeks had passed, Alfons still hadn’t confronted Ed about his situation, and it was clear that it wasn’t going to be getting any better. Not when that first time his coughing brought up blood hadn’t been the last. He’d been spending more and more time at the warehouse working on the finishing touches of his beloved project and hadn’t had as much time to see his roommate as he would have liked, but when his mind wasn’t filled with formulas and whatever steps were still needed toward the rocket’s completion, he was given more time to think about how to handle this whole mess. And more time to think about Ed. 

Finally, there was only one solution left that he could think of. He already knew that this would tear him apart, but what other choice did he have? He was really the only person that Ed spent any time with, so once he was gone, Ed would be alone again in a world he thought was a dream. If you want it to be a dream, I’ll make it a dream. I’ll be a part of the world you’ll leave behind, and when you wake up, you won’t have any regrets. No regrets about leaving me behind. But I still wish you wouldn’t have to forget. 

The night the rocket was completed, Alfons made up his mind to go through with it. His coughing spells had been particularly rough earlier that evening, and as terrifying as it was, he knew that he couldn’t put it off anymore. He was running out of time, and who could say when the next time they’d be home was? 

Everyone had long since returned home for a well-earned sleep, but Alfons stayed sitting by the rocket, staring at it without really seeing it as he waited for Ed to arrive. He’d called their apartment not that long ago and asked Ed to meet him here, sounding tired but excited that he could finally show Ed what he’d been working on since before they’d met. Or at least that was what he’d told him on the phone. He couldn’t tell him the rest. Not yet. Not until the two of them met face to face.

“Jeez, Alfons, why’d you want me to come all the way out here this late, anyway? Doubt your rocket’s gonna be going anywhere tomorrow morning.” 

Alfons turned to face the familiar voice and gave his roommate a small smile. “Yeah, I know. But I just really wanted you to see it. Want a closer look?” He patted the seat next to him, hoping Ed would actually take him up on the offer.

Ed sauntered toward him with a shrug, dropping down next to his roommate. He glanced up at the rocket with far less fascination with his counterpart, though he did manage at least some scientific interest at least for the sake of courtesy. Alfons had really caught him at a bad time. Being left in an empty apartment for that long gave him too much time to think, and he couldn’t help but let his mind wander in the direction of his brother again. Would Al know he was alive? Had he managed to succeed in his transmutation? What was Al doing now? And what about Winry, Granny, and even Roy? He had no way of knowing what was going on back home, and though he tried not to let himself worry too much, he couldn’t pretend not to miss it as much as he did. Before he got a chance to ask what this was all about, Alfons spoke up again, eyes focused more on the rocket than on his roommate.

“You know, I think I understand what you were saying now. Completing the rocket has always seemed like a dream for me, something that might happen in the future someday, but not for a long time. And it would be something that would Germany would remember. It would get this country moving again, give us the respect that we deserve. But then I woke up.” He finally turned to Ed with a weak smile. “Looks like it’s not like that at all. Instead, I’m not really sure what else to do. I hadn’t really thought about what would happen once it was over, but now that’s it. Dream’s over. As much as I want to pretend that I can keep doing what I’ve been doing every day, it just can’t happen.”

Ed nodded, confusion wrinkling his brow. “Yeah, I guess. But aren’t you happy about it at all? I mean, this thing’s been pretty much all you’ve ever talked about since I’ve met you. Don’t you think that maybe you’re being a little—”

“Wait,” Alfons interrupted him quietly, holding up one hand. “I’m not done yet. Of course I’m thrilled about actually getting to see the rocket completed, but at the same time, it’s given me a lot to think about. And that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” He paused to make sure that Ed was listening, satisfied when he saw a curious nod. Alfons curled his hands into tight fists, swallowing hard before he could get himself to continue. 

“It’s kind of hard for me to say this, but…you were right, Edward. This whole thing is just a dream. And when you wake up, you’ll be home again with the people you know in real life. It’ll be your brother instead of me by your side, and you won’t have to keep seeing all these doppelgängers and pretend you don’t know them. Because…everyone will be exactly who you think they are. Just… remember that none of this was real and that if you never see any of this place again, it’s because it was just a dream. And…and it’s okay to forget your dreams, right?”

Alfons didn’t know how he’d ever managed that tiny smile as he finished. He’d always been so angry in the past when Ed had suggested that none of his world was real, so determined that Ed recognize him as a fellow human being and a separate entity from the other Al, someone just as real as him. And he’d just told the person he’d wanted to remember him more than anyone that he should forget that he and his whole world ever existed at all. 

“A-Alfons…what’re you—”

He didn’t give Ed a chance to respond, knowing that if he stopped now, he’d never be able to get himself to say any of this again. “And I think I know how to get you home. Tomorrow morning, you’ll wake up in your real home. Outside of this dream. And you can…you can forget…” Unable to get himself to continue, Alfons grabbed his roommate by the wrist and dragged him over to the rocket, pointing up toward the ceiling. 

Ed heaved a sigh and let Alfons lead him toward the middle of the room. “What’re you going on about, Alfons? You’ve always told me that my stories were crazy, so why the hell do you believe them now? You’re not making any sense! Are you—” He stopped short, eyes wide when he let his gaze follow Alfons’ finger. 

A familiar bright blue glow emanated from a circle nearly as wide as the room itself, obscuring what must have been an array more complex than even Ed had studied. Alchemy wasn’t supposed to exist here, but there was nothing else that could have shone like that. He’d seen it far too many times to possibly mistake it even now. “H-how…”

“It’s been there for a few days now,” Alfons answered, assuming that he was answering Ed’s question properly. “It’s just like the stories you’ve told me. A glowing blue circle with a strange sort of energy.” A few workers had tried to reach it on ladders in an effort to figure out what exactly it, though there was little conclusive information they could report back. “That should be how you get home. So…if you want to go back, then I’ll show you how to work the rocket. So you can wake up.” His voice quieted as he continued, but he’d managed to stay at least audible. 

Ed never took his eyes off of the transmutation circle as he nodded. “You’re sure it’ll work?” He knew he should have asked more questions, maybe about how Alfons knew this or where this came from all of a sudden, but with the prospect of finally being able to leave this hell right in front of him, he would take any opportunity that presented itself. 

“Yeah. I’m sure. Let’s go.” Alfons’s voice had become even quieter, and though he’d already gotten this far, his resolve was starting to weaken, even as he opened up the cockpit and explained the controls. At least stating memorized facts kept the emotion from his voice. It was just hitting him now that if they went through with this, he’d never see Ed again. And even worse, though he would remember his roommate for whatever time he had left, it was unlikely that Ed would look back and think of him as anything more than a dream that went on far longer than it should have. If he even thought of him at all with his Al there with him. 

When they were both sure that Ed knew the controls at least well enough to make it into the circle, Alfons finally reached up to the glass dome that would cover the passenger and started to pull it down, though he couldn’t help but hesitate if only for a moment. He took Ed’s hand with his free one, holding it tightly. “This is going to be the last time I see you, isn’t it?” He finally couldn’t hold his smile anymore, and glanced away from Ed as if that would make the whole thing easier. “I just… Even if this is just a dream, I’m glad I got to be in it with you. “

“Hey, what’re you talking about?” Ed gave him an odd grin, excited to be going home but unsure what to think of whatever his roommate was trying to say. “If you really are part of a dream, who’s to say I’m not gonna dream something like this again someday? Maybe not something that lasts two years, but a short dream’s fine, too.”

Alfons just nodded, his throat constricting enough that it took him a moment to respond. “Yeah. I’ll look forward to it.” He half closed the dome again, pausing one last time. “Don’t forget the controls.” And he finally dropped the cover, making sure it clicked into place before he turned way and strode determinedly toward the control board. 

With a few adjustments to the rocket’s position and after he’d flicked a few switches and turned the appropriate nobs, Ed’s rocket was prepared for departure. Alfons stared through the thick panes of glass for a few moments at the golden hair and excited face, taking one long look though blurring eyes for what would be the last time. Just as the tears began to fall, he pressed down on the launch button resolutely. 

Smoke began to pour out of the end of the rocket, and a deafening rumble filled the room. Ed finally turned his head to give Alfons a thankful smile, though the emissions obscured his vision enough that he couldn’t see the other boy’s face, but he was sure that he saw a taller figure step out of the shadows and toward the rocket scientist. Though he was briefly curious as to who it was, he quickly turned his attention back to the levers in front of him, much more focused on returning home than whatever was happening in this dream world he was finally leaving. With a final, steady roar, the rocket finally began to rise, pushing him faster and faster toward the glowing array. As the blue light filled his vision, the tension finally left Ed’s body. He was free.

***

Alfons could only watch helplessly as the two things that had come to mean more to him than anything else disappeared. “Don’t forget me, Edward. Please…” he choked out at the smoke billowed out and through the room. Long after the rocket had disappeared through that strange blue light, Alfons continued to watch the last place he’d seen it, completely unaware of the presence behind him. 

Finally, the man put a hand on Alfons’ shoulder. “I know this was hard for you, Alfons, but it was the right thing to do.” He kept his voice low, attempting to comfort the boy he barely knew.

Alfons turned to face him, desperate for one last thing to hold on to. “You’re sure it worked, right? Edward’s going to be alright? It’s….it’s not going to hurt him is it?” He barely understood anything about what exactly that circle was that the man had drawn, but he’d let him assist him in this plan with the promise that Ed would get home safely.

“Of course. If there are two things I’ve learned to trust, it’s my abilities and my son. He’s not going to let anything happen to him that easily.” Hohenheim gave the sobbing boy an easy smile and wrapped an arm over his shoulders. “Come on. Let’s get you home.”


End file.
